Feedback 101: Mastering the Art of Giving and Recieving Fedback
In every facet of our lives- work, home, school, or friendship- mistakes will be made and issues will arise that need to be addressed. In those moments when faced with an issue or problem, giving timely, specific feedback is the most efficient way to encourage change. Many people have associated negative feelings with giving and receiving feedback, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Well-delivered feedback can help a teammate understand key areas to improve, motivate and inspire others and can even help superiors address blind spots in their own work.
Mastering the art of giving and receiving feedback takes practice but incorporating regular feedback into the maintenance of the relationship is key to learning both how to give and receive constructive criticism.
Giving well-delivered feedback is equal parts empathy and transparency. Walking the fine line between positive, judgment-free feedback and “couching” feedback in a way that dilutes the message is particularly challenging. Try the following tips to develop the art of giving feedback.
1) The intention is important.
Take a gut check…what is this feedback really about? Assigning blame in a situation is a recipe for a negative experience with feedback and immediately activates the “I am right, you are wrong” pressure point. The goal of any constructive feedback is to uncover the “why” in a particular situation, not to point blame at “who.” Feedback (positive or negative) should always be focused on the behavior, not the person. Give specific examples and listen closely to the receiver’s recounting of a situation for clues as to how to approach a solution.
2) Make it a conversation.
Ask questions, ask for insight, and remember to keep the conversation back and forth rather than a one-way information dump. Creating a teamwork environment helps de-escalate the situation and opens everyone up to a better mindset.
3) Incorporate feedback into weekly one-on-one sessions.
One of the best ways to inoculate yourself and your team against the immediate stress response that many folks get when dealing with feedback is to make it a regular part of your culture. Using a regular one-on-one environment to discuss issues and give feedback, is a great way to build feedback into your team structure organically. Put a priority on face-to-face feedback rather than opting to write it all in a performance review. As Paul English, CEO of Kayak.com says, “If you’re a good manager, you never want to put something in writing that’s not been communicated verbally.”
4) Avoid the “Sandwich” approach.
Contrary to popular belief, “sandwich-ing” feedback between two compliments, actually dilutes the message that you are trying to send. That’s not to say that praise shouldn’t be a part of daily conversation. Every employee wants to feel like they are doing good and important work. But when we’re giving feedback, the clearer the message, the better. Don’t be tempted to give “drive-by” feedback as it is far less likely to affect any long-term change.
Feedback is a two-way street, and it is equally as important to be able to take it as to give it. When receiving feedback, it is important to avoid defensiveness. Valuing feedback as data that informs and improves our work is a vital key to master the art of receiving feedback.
One of the most important tips to master, as both the giver and the receiver, is knowing when to stop the conversation and take time to reflect. If a situation warrants multiple feedback items, it is often better to tackle them one at a time and prioritize the digestion of each bit of information.
Ultimately, the goal of feedback is to better the person and the organization and entering a feedback exchange with that goal in mind will help maintain a positive and engaging conversation. Feedback doesn’t have to be stressful, particularly if it is honored as a gift of data that can effect change and improvement.
